This Time Machine Doesn't Work

For those of you whom requested a baseball pic, there you be. Those kids comprise the Marianas High School Baseball team. I guess I should really say "comprised", as we lost our playoff game on Saturday to the ever-dangerous Kagman High School Ayuyus (Chamorro for "Coconut Crabs". I can't talk enough about the kids on the team...they grab the equipment from my car and bring it back after the games. They say "thanks coach" non-stop. After the game they all tip their hats to the crowd and say "Si Yuus Ma'ase" ("Thank you") in unison. They will sprint across campus to ask me what kid will be our starting pitcher for our next game. And yes, in case you're wondering, the "hang loose" hand sign is the default photo pose out here. Other things that aren't just stereotypes: Everyone out here listens to island-type music (reggae, steel drums, etc). NOTHING ever starts on time...you must adjust your schedule for 30-minute delays for something as minor as meeting for a beer. It's at once comforting and frustrating to experience "island time"; one is never rewarded for showing up early/on time, yet it you're running 15 minutes behind for whatever reason...no biggie. They'll wait for you.

I awoke on Tuesday (we had the day off for Election Day...I love teaching!) and began my morning routine of grabbing a Diet Coke from the fridge and firing up the MacBook to get caught up on the world. I shut my air conditioning off (I know...AC in November. HA!) and opened the sliding door going from my bedroom to my balcony. I grabbed the screen door and closed it in an attempt to keep the insects out. After the door was shut I got my wits about me and saw this thing on the inside of the screen door:

It was about 2" from my face, and seeing as how I'm not a morning person my thought process took a bit of time to catch up with reality: "Huh, look at that thing"..."Wow, that's the biggest spider I've ever seen"..."Um, that's on the inside of the screen door, and the glass door is open, meaning there's nothing between me and this thing except air and opportunity"..."Now would be a good time to shut the glass sliding door"...(pace around room for 5 minutes, not taking my eyes off of the spider for one second).

Wow. I'm fortunate to not be an arachnophobe lest I would have plowed my way out of my apartment, leaving a Bugs Bunny-esque outline of myself in the front door. I simply let this guy do his thing, however after a few hours I chased him away with a broom. If you're wondering, his leg span was easily the size of my hand, and you could easily see his eyes and fangs with a casual glance. This would be a Giant Crab Spider...not poisonous, and in fact they take out large bugs such as roaches and grasshoppers, so I'm not 100% opposed to having them around the place. Just not on my screen door...yeesh. I wanted to capture him and make a mini-colloseum that I would drop geckos into until I found a lizard with enough heart to take this mofo down, but I wasn't sure how to capture a spider that big without killing it.

A few island updates:

-The House of Reps out here legalized marijuana this week. The word on the street is that the Senate will kill the measure, however it's crazy to think that I could live in a place where "I'll take a pack of Marlboro's, $25 on pump 3, and a bag of Saipan Gold with some rolling papers". I will absolutely keep you posted, as if that law passes I can imagine I'll be having a few more visitors.

-The election here was a non-event. The incumbent congressional delegate won by a huge margin and there doesn't seem to be any remorse about it. Fun fact: I can't vote out here, as I'm not at least 25% indigenous. Hopefully the campaign signs will start coming down and I can see what this place looks like when it's not blanketed with "Vote #3" signs. Yes, they've dumbed down campaign signs to include which position on the ballot a person's name appears. Great times.

-I may have to include the island of Yap in my travel plans. They still use stone currency for some transactions...crazy. We're talking some thatched-hut living quarters, folks. They could still do human sacrifices for all I know. Either way, the place looks amazing. I'm thinking Yap, Palau, and Australia are the three destinations for sure. Now I just need to figure out how to make it work!

-The first quarter of school comes to an end this Friday...tough to believe I've been here for that long already. I'm looking into sports to coach over the "winter" months as I believe I'll be back on the diamond coaching girls fast pitch softball in April. If golf is an option, I'm all over it. Day one of practice: Be the ball. Day two of practice: Be the ball.

-We do not have daylight savings here, as CHST (Chamorro Standard Time) is consistent throughout the year. Thus, those of you in MN will now be 16 hours behind me. Friday and Saturday nights for you are still the best times to get ahold of my via phone, Facebook, or Skype. It's still light when I wake up and when I get out of work here, hopefully that doesn't change. That is honestly the worst stretch of winter back home; dark when you go to work, dark when you get out. Ugh.

-While liquor sales are supposedly done at 10pm each day, beer/booze can certainly be bought after that time. Just ask for a black plastic bag when you walk in, they know the drill. Bag your beer, bring it to the front, they ring it up as something else, and off you go. It's kind of fun to do...you feel like a combination of James Bond and Barney from The Simpsons.

-I changed up the format of the blog's design recently. I took most of the older posts off the front page, added a "popular posts" column on the right hand side, and there's a page counter at the bottom (damn near 5k hits!). If anyone has any design suggestions, I'd love to hear them.

-Random ocean photo? Random ocean photo:

Until next time...

Tell Me About The Golf Shoes

There she be...the Island Field of Dreams. "Tan Ko" Palacios field is the only recognized "Official" ballfield on the island. Naturally, the high school teams split time there with other leagues on the island as well as international teams who make stops in Saipan. Our season is only two weeks old, yet will be over in another two weeks before our playoffs begin. Why, you ask? There are Korean pro teams that use this field for their winter league, and like everything else on the island, $$$ = Access. I guess you could say the same about the rest of the free world, but the effect here is much more pronounced. The photo above contains two players whom are technically ineligible to play (academic reasons), however they play anyway...again, welcome to Saipan. The squad is 1-2-1 as of now and we have two more games this week. I'll try to get some action shots, or at least one of me coaching at third base giving some sort of signal. I LOVE that part of coaching.

It may be difficult to discern what is in the above photo...it's the view from the second level of G.I.G., the island's premier dance club. I hit G.I.G. up on the evening of my birthday with Lauren, Andy, and David (he's been pictured in this blog before...check out the Bird Island pics and find the dude with the dreadlocks). Good times were had by all, and for awhile I forgot that I was away from home. The DJ gave me a shout-out for my birthday and referred to me as "the hardest m*therf*cker at Marianas High School", which is hilarious because there were students in the club that evening. "High School students in a dance club on a Friday night?" you ask. Yup...one of them even bummed me a Marlboro. One more time, say it with me: Welcome to the island. I did mention that it was my birthday...I'm 31 now. Still on the calendar for one more year, however I'm only four away from eligibility regarding election to president. Jents in 2016: "Because it can't get worse".

Take a guess at what the red thing in the photo is. A flower? An underwater flower? A hair binder that has made its way to the ocean floor? Nope. It's coral. That stuff is insane, and I implore any one of you who hasn't seen it to do a Google image search and look at the different types. I always thought coral was the jagged, rocky-type stuff that comprised the majority of The Great Barrier Reef (5th Grade Social Studies IN THE HOUSE!), however it's much more than that. Quick rule of thumb: If you want to see really bright-colored fish in the ocean, go towards the really brightly-colored coral. Guaranteed results.

Random Island topics:

-The Palms Resort (check earlier blog posts for photos) has officially closed. They are saying that they are "renovating their rooms" and will re-open in 18 months, however I don't see any construction going on. Methinks they are waiting for some sort of tax relief to finally run out before they blow the mofo up.

-It's been pouring here, likely as a result of Typhoon Megi hitting China. Puddles in the street come halfway up to the windows in the Camry, so one has to really WANT to go somewhere before leaving home. I was hoping to squeeze 18 holes in today, however as of 10:00am it doesn't look pretty. This is some monsoon-type precipitation...we're talking three straight days of rain with almost no breaks. Yeesh.

-A dozen brown local farm eggs in Saipan: $3. The chickens here must all drive Audis.

-Things the island is running low on: Rolling Rock beer, tortilla chips, and decent bacon. I feel as though I'm singlehandedly responsible for any potential shift in the supply/demand curve in Saipan. You know...if the concept of supply and demand existed here.

-There are rumors of a $500 4 day/3 night trip to Australia (that's airfare from Saipan and hotel). I'm absolutely going to look into this, as I'm certainly not going to Japan over Christmas break. I came here to be away from winter...why would I pay money to see snow? Anyhow, Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy!

Adios, peeps.