3 months without a blog, including 3 weeks back in Saipan. All play and no work has been a blast, however it's time to get back on my teaching/coaching/advising/writing grind. New Saipan photos are at a dearth; in their stead I have some photos from my trip out east.
Glad to have you back. Onto the show...
There's simply no way to take in this photo without chuckling a bit. Poor Liz didn't stand a chance. But then again, who knows? Perhaps her hubby's 4 acre lot was lush and had an ocean view. Maybe she was a shut-in who relished in a built-in excuse to not attend get-togethers and the Crossfit Muddy Warrior Dash 3-Day Paleo 5k Walk For The Cure. Then again, maybe after the first year she began to hate her surroundings. Perhaps a tree grew juuuuust large enough to ruin her waterfront view. It may seem like I'm rambling, but the first few weeks in Saipan have been a constant reminder of a story I once heard:
A old farmer had his horse run away one day. After the people in his village delivered this terrible news, he simply shrugged and said "We'll see".
The horse came back two days later with three other wild horses. "My Goodness! What great fortune you have!" exclaimed the villagers. "We'll see" was the man's response.
While trying to break the heartiest of the wild horses, the farmer's son fell off of the beast and broke his leg. "What horrible luck!" the villagers said. The man, his head held low, said "We'll see".
The next week the military came into town and drafted all able-bodied young men into their service. They passed over his son with the lame leg and the villagers congratulated the old farmer on how great everything worked out. "We'll see" is all he said in response.
Long story short: Things are never as bad (or good) as they seem in the moment, and I've had quite the rollercoaster since being back on the island.
When I arrived they hadn't shut off my power due to non-payment for 2 months: Awesome.
When I saw the amount I owed the power company: Not awesome.
The scooter was still parked where I left it! Awesome!
The scooter doesn't like to start after it rains, and we're still in monsoon season: Brutal.
My supposedly 11th grade US History class is populated with freshman: Awful
Wait...9th graders still fear authority: AWESOME!
My second job as a college professor required me to buy a business license for $50: Terrible.
I'm now incorporated as Steve Jents, dba Prestige Worldwide: Worth more than $50.
You get the gist of it. Between the ups and downs has been a whole lot of good stuff, as the first weeks of high school have gone off without a hitch, the college gig remains fun, and coaching girls basketball has been a better time than I expected. The beach is still across the street and I still have fruit in the yard. It's not important to add up the small victories in life, however it is imperative that you know they are there and acknowledge them when they occur.
But, oh...Saipan. Oh my. Check out the Marianas Variety or Saipan Tribune online and see the damage for yourself. Doctors leaving the rock in droves to the point the hospital may actually close. The governor going through an impeachment. The school system all but begging on its knees for funding to reduce class sizes (I'm at 40-to-1 right now). An exponential increase in property crime coupled with the inability of local law enforcement. I wouldn't go as far as saying the island is in complete disarray, however we're in the neighborhood. But again...we'll see.
The warm and gorgeous small-town feel of Newburyport, MA reminds me quite a bit of Saipan. We couldn't walk for a bagel (trust me when I say there are bagels on the east coast and there are bagels everywhere else; they are not the same) in Emily's hometown without her spotting someone she used to babysit for or a parent of someone she went to school with. Such is life on the island, where our return was met with heart warming greetings from students and shopkeepers alike. You KNOW you've spent too much time in a place when the dude bagging your groceries reminds you that you need cigarettes. But then again, nothing compares to the sight of a half-dozen or so Carolinian kids jumping out of the back of a pickup truck and screaming your name and dancing with excitement once they've realized you've returned to their island. Guaranteed goosebumps.
There was a moment when I hadn't realized these boats were anchored to buoys. "My god, there are a TON of people out on their boats today". Emily did her best not to be condescending when she informed me that boats can float in the middle of the water without being used. Sweet Jesus I felt like a corn-shucker. May as well chew on this here grass until the milk truck comes to RR-1312...better'n white wawshin' the fence again. Honestly, I had no idea boats existed in anything in statuses other than being operated, sitting at a dock, or being towed around by F-150s. I felt a similar sense of dumbassery at a girls basketball practice last week. After watching a few girls set picks and screens with their arms folded straight across their upper torsos I blew the whistle:
Me: "Does anyone here know how to set a pick? Seriously, how long have you been playing basketball???"
Player: "Coach Jents, I think you might be thinking about..."
Me (interrupting): "YOU SET A PICK LIKE THIS" (places both hands over groin area, the way that boys are taught to set picks from an early age)
Players: "Coach Jents...um...girls set picks differently"
Me: "JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE A GIRL DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULDN'T PROTECT YOUR...oh. Ooooooh. Right. Carry on, ladies"
The again, my day could have been worse:
That's right. While everything you've heard about the east coast (and Boston) may not be true, there is some credibility to the "they don't take shit from anyone" stereotype. I'm not sure the Marge Gundersons of the world have the stones to place a sign like this outside their homes. Sure, we'll see crazy political signs and billboards, but nothing as personal as someone admonishing dog owners. Pissing off (no pun intended) dog owners in the midwest is akin to belonging to a Satanic cult, and at the very least Jill would have been expected to mitigate her feelings with some passivity. Something like "Please try to avoid the planted area of my yard. We work so hard to keep it looking nice for all of you!" seems right.
BONUS ROUND!!!
-Saipan Car-Related Moment of the Week: Emily's idler arm in her 4Runner snapped on the way to school. I babied that thing for 7 miles without much steering to speak of other than when it decided to swerve into or away from oncoming traffic. We made it, and Super Mechanic Manny had it back on the road within hours for a fraction of what it would have costed in The States.
-2 quick food recommendations: Squeeze a couple of limes onto your potato salad before you serve it next time. Sure, mix it in a little, but leave some for the top. Good times. Also, Mandi Wraps. Mandi Asian Spa is located a half mile from the apartment, and cheap membership rates are conducive to teachers who need a bit of quiet time every now and again. The food menu is the most ridiculous I've seen, as all items are microwaved (think Hot Pockets and Pizza Rolls...no joke) and start at about $9. The easy solution is to bring in food, however what will still be edible after a few hours of sitting in a locker? I present the Mandi Wrap:
1 Burrito-sized tortilla
1/2 of a red pepper
1/2 of a carrot (or 3 baby carrots)
1/2 of a cucumber
Ranch Dressing (as much as you want...you're eating veggies and that has to count for something)
Shredded Cheese or janky Kraft-esque singles that you've cut into thin strips (optional)
Cut veggies. I would say "julienne" but that may take awhile for those less inclined to the culinary arts. Regardless, stuff those mofos into the wrap. Drizzle the ranch. Add cheese if that's your thing. Wrap it up and cover with aluminum foil. Tasty, healthier than a burger, and you at least have the appearance of eating right.
Until the next one...
