Dogs Can't Look Up

Yep, that's my neighbor Harry/Henry/Hank Babauta (I like the name "Triple H" personally). On his face are my red lens aviators, and around his head is a makeshift marmar (head dress) he made from a plant in the yard. If I knew of Triple H's habits before moving here I would have invested heavily in Anheuser Busch. Regardless, he and his family slaughtered a pig last weekend (no photos...I know you're disappointed) and it was quite the ordeal. Have you seen the delight in a five year-old's eyes as he hacks a limb from a pig that was alive minutes ago? My goodness...this is indeed a different place.

All is great on the school/work front. The Alternative School, at long last, will be open within the next week or two. There is an issue of amending school board policy to fit our program into their guidelines, however that should be taken care of in quick order and we'll be off and running. The college gig is still outstanding, as I'm getting into the swing of lecturing about drugs and alcohol. I usually begin each class by reading off the ingredients in whatever diet soda I'm drinking along with whatever Surgeon General's Warning is on my pack of Lights. Then I have a chuckle because the drugs I like are LEGAL. Ha! Speaking of legal drugs and "Only in Saipan" moments, I saw a kid in my neighborhood bombing around on a Pocket Chopper (a very small motorcycle) wearing a helmet, a tank top, shorts, and flip flops. I pulled into traffic behind him and followed the bike into the parking lot of Grace Market, my local store. The kid isn't any older than 8 or 9, so it was funny enough to see him on a main road doing 45mph on a small motorcycle. But when I saw him peer over the counter and purchase Betel Nut from the store I about died laughing. This kid probably cuts he crust off of his PB&J with a machete. Seriously, there is no age limit on Betel Nut possession or use here, so it's not weird to see kids of all ages having huge chews/dips in their cheeks. Indeed, the stuff isn't good for you as it contains known carcinogens and makes teeth turn red, then black, then fall out all together, but...well...it's the island way I guess. It's tough to argue with logic when there is none to start with, and it is very easy to understand the concept of "we did this long before you were here, white boy, and we'll do it long after you leave".

To each their own, indeed.

This is the palapala (pavillion) that is being constructed in my front yard as we speak. When it's done there will be a few benches, some screens to keep the bugs out, and a roof to repel the 100" of annual rainfall. It may not have a hot tub or a flat screen TV, but the view is ridiculous (I can only imagine what it looks like to my people back in MN after the last snowstorm...ouch!). The reconstruction of the horseshoe pit remains my primary focus, and I hope to have it done this weekend. We've been playing on a combination of grass and slaked limestone for months, thus it's high time I make an actual sandbox-like pit. I discovered what I thought to be another lime tree next to the horseshoe pit, and that in and of itself would have been huge as the other lime tree is running low. After further inspection it turned out to be a guava tree in full bloom. The only "Guava" I knew up until this point was from a Ween album title, so it was kind of cool to realize that I had a tree of them about 50 feet from my front door. There are some seeds in them that are harder than rocks, but if you can navigate around them: Fantastic times.

Cultural Day at Marianas High School was a great time, albeit a very odd one. I placed myself in the shoes of the Japanese exchange students and took in the scenery: Iced tea boxes everywhere, people in traditional island get-up first dancing to native music before breaking into choreographed hip-hop dance routines, and a skit involving two girls performing a local dance while the basketball team walked around with pompoms. I'm not making this up:

Again, if you knew nothing about a culture and found yourself immersed in this I'm not sure you could reach a conclusion of any kind whatsoever. Very random.

While everything out here has been great, I am certainly looking forward to 4 months from now when I'll be back in The States. True, it is more than likely that I'll be back in Micronesia for the 2011-2012 school year, however I miss everyone and I can't wait to see them. With that said, I'd like to say one thing: If you've never lived in a place that doesn't have winter, start figuring out how you can make it happen for at least one year of your life. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't smile at the sun or laugh at the fact that I'm in shorts and flip-flops in December/January/February/etc. I'm not trying to rub it in, I'm simply saying that one doesn't have to live in the cold their entire lives. If you can't pick up your stakes for five or six months at a time, I understand...I'm just saying that nice weather never gets old.

Bonus Round!

-Saipan Car-Related Moment Of The Week: I was on my way to job #2 (Professor gig) when I saw three kids pushing a car. My best guess is that they were trying to pop-start it as the battery had run out of juice. As I got closer I saw them laughing as they were trying to get the old Honda up to speed, only they were running out of real estate as they were approaching a hill. They got it started and jumped in about 50 feet before the incline, and as I passed them I looked over to give them a thumbs-up. The driver...well...think "Short Round" from Indiana Jones. The kid couldn't have been older than 12. I guess pop-starting a car going uphill on a major road is commonplace for the junior high kids here. God Bless Saipan.

-I mentioned the guava tree earlier, and there are other trees starting to produce. Mango trees are beginning to bear fruit, the Jackfruits are about ripe (these things as seriously bigger than 2 footballs placed end-to-end lengthwise...I have no idea how the branches don't break), and word has it that pineapple will be making a comeback in short time. With the constant cycle of bananas and all of these new fruits has come a large amount of fruit flies. Quick tip from the island: Take two cups, fill each halfway with Coke or juice, wrap plastic or foil around the tops, seal with a rubber band, and poke small holes through the plastic/foil (large enough for them to crawl in, small enough so they can't fly out). Place one at each end of your apartment. Guaranteed Results.

-More snorkel pics soon. I'll get back out there once the horseshoe pit has been taken care of. Honest to goodness, my two major concerns at this moment are finishing a horseshoe pit and then getting underwater photos...it's safe to say I've acclimated to the island life.

-Almost all language barriers can be mitigated by non-verbal communication. Can't understand what time the laundry lady is saying your clothes will be done? Raise your arms up and move them around to replicate a clock. Right arm straight up/Left arm straight out: 3pm.

-You ask for sunset pics, you get sunset pics:

Until the next one...

-Steve

Been So Long Since He's Been On

There it is, the bulk of my Psychology/Sociology class. The first semester ended last week and we (well...they) decided to hold a party on the last day complete with boxes of sweetened iced tea (the beverage of choice on Saipan) and volleyball. More on volleyball later. Since that time my "work" days have consisted of hanging out from 8 to 3 at the central district offices, during which time me and my fellow Alternative Education teachers have been structuring the new program. It appears as though we'll be glorified babysitters for kids who have been suspended or expelled from their regular schools, however there's an argument to be made that all teachers are a few textbooks and a chalkboard apart from the girl down your block who watches your kids for $25 on a Friday night. I'm only partially kidding. Regardless, the days have been going by quick and I've had a bit of free time to focus on the nuts-and-bolts of teaching at Northern Marianas College. Oh, the college gig you ask? Let me tell you something about teaching at community college:

It's stealing money. Seriously, I should wear a bandana when I cash the paychecks from NMC. If I have any professors out there reading this, please know that you do less than 1/3 of the work that a high school teacher does, which means you do roughly 1/10th of what an elementary school teacher has to do every day. I highly recommend everyone with a humanities degree and a little bit of free time look into being an adjunct professor at Century, Inver Hills, Anoka-Ramsey, etc. I may not be singing this same tune when I get 50-some essays dropped on my desk to correct, but for now it's gold.

Rainy season in Saipan = Interesting car pool scenes. I guess these guys wanted to huddle together for warmth, even though it was 80 degrees at the time. Welcome to the island. This would be the Saipan car-related moment of the week had it not seen a blue Toyota pickup a few mornings ago. It was rolling along at 5MPH in the center of Middle Road (one of the 3 main roads on the island). As I approached it I saw a man standing in the bed of the truck facing the other direction. Note: This in and of itself would not be unusual, however the man in the back of the truck was holding a rope. At the other end of that rope: An 800lb cow, jogging down the middle of the road. Maybe that's how they herd animals here...who knows. God Bless Saipan.

Last weekend Emily and I went golfing. She's new to the game, and as such we agreed that the "executive nine" course at Saipan Country Club would be the best fit for her expertise. I thought it was strange when I was charged $25 for golf + cart, as golf here is exceedingly cheap and is no more than $30-$40 at extremely nice courses at the height of tourist season. Still, I bit the bullet and the Visa card was swiped. After nine holes Emily had played enough (the first few rounds for a beginning golfer are a painful experience in humility), and we returned the cart to the shop.

Golf Course Guy: "You're done already?"

Me: "Yep....it's been like 2 hours since we went off, do people normally take longer to play 9 holes here?"

Golf Course Guy: "You only played 9 holes?"

Me: "Yeah...why, did I pay for 18 or something like that?"

Golf Course Guy: "The local rate is $25 for a cart and golf all day"

$25 for a cart and ALL DAY GOLF. Should I just have this place take the money straight from my paycheck?

Volleyball in Saipan is tough to wrap your head around. There are about five or six varieties of the sport out here, with one being the conventional "six on a side, bump-set-spike" we all played in gym class. The others are strange, yet some are just as organized as the official version. "Roc Ball" is played on a volleyball court with a soccer net being placed behind each baseline. I'm not sure how it is scored, but I believe it's a combination of points won via regular volleyball rules and "goals" scored on the other team. It's a blast to watch, and the kids here really get into it. Another version of the game is played EVERYWHERE on school grounds and involves any number of students (most normally a dozen or so) standing in a circle and hitting the ball to each other. "Wait, I've seen that before...clearly you're losing your mind and you think that just because you are in Saipan this is special". Oh no. No, no, no. In this version there is a person standing in the middle of the circle, and their role changes effortlessly between the person who sets other players up, the person who sends screaming line drives at people's heads, and the person who is smacked in the head by a Wilson or Spalding they didn't see coming. I think the goal in some of these "games" is to smoke as many people as you can...if it's an accident these kids are doing a great job of hiding it. It's all fun and games until someone's earring gets torn out by a rubber ball.

Bonus Round!

-It's been an itchy week in Saipan. Please refrain from comments relating to penicillin. Seriously though, there is some sort of vine that produces inedible fruit, and when the fruit protrudes from the flowers it lets off some sort of pollen or spore or something that has everyone up on the Norf Syd itching like crazy. It's gotten much better over the last couple of days, so hopefully it's on the way out.

-Japanese Volcano Eruption: Cloudy and Rainy Weather in Saipan. It's crazy to think I used to live in a place where a tornado could barrel through the landscape 100 miles from me and I would have no idea it happened, whereas now I live in a place where a butterfly can flap it's wings in frickin' INDONESIA and we get rained on three hours later. Ah, the tropical jet stream.

-I was hankering for a snack which was my staple back home: Triscuits and Cheese. Seeing as how block sharp cheddar is priced at 3 souls per pound (seriously, it's like $10/lb in most stores), I opted for it's cream cheese brethren. The lady at the market paid no attention as she rang in my items, however the high school kid bagging them up had a huge smile on his face. He smiled directly at me, looked down at the cream cheese and Garden Veggie Triscuits (no Rosemary/Olive Oil...I know, this place is like Russia), then looked back up at me again and nodded his head while saying "Great snack, man....Great snack" and seemed genuinely happy at my purchase, like he was going to grab some of his own in a few minutes before hitting the break room. Validation! Honestly, the people that like their jobs here are amazing.

-Like most colleges, NMC has a tobacco-free campus, meaning one has to walk to the street to smoke. There's a small nook just outside one of the doors in Building A (where my classroom is) where students gather to break the rules and light up. Each and every time I have gone to this spot to enjoy a quick coffin nail before class, EVERYONE that notices my presence immediately drops their cigarette and gives me a guilty look. I usually stand there for a half minute or so, slowly glancing at every student and giving them the uncomfortable 4-5 second period of eye contact. Then I light up and laugh at them. Good times!

Until the next one...